Only when one is truly happy from within, can they spread joy to others.
Haven't we heard this time and again and it resonates so well with me. I could imagine a situation where there is something making me feel low, don't think I could do a good job of spreading cheer around me. Of course we all face problems in life- work related stress and issues, financial ones, a tiff with a dear one. We cannot expect a fairytale life where everything is picture perfect and happily ever after is only a myth. No, this is a part of life and it would be foolish to expect a problem free life.
Now let's digress a bit. Being a woman how many of us take time to think about ourselves, our dreams , passion, interests? Haven't we always been conditioned that the role of a woman is to keep her family happy first, cook for them, take care of her kids. Only such a selfless woman is the epitome of womanhood, the Adarsh Nari. Once we become moms, the responsibility of raising our kids, nurturing them, tending to them in sickness and so much more takes up most of our time. To that, add the household chores, attending to other family members needs , and if you are working then 10-12 hours a day are anyway spent at the workplace. So when do we get time to indulge in things we like?
Do we ever think of it at all or are we so caught up in the daily grind that we just overlook it?
Coming to the question of how we perceive ourselves, this is again an area where we are always pulling a face or frowning on catching glimpse of ourselves in the mirror. Ouch that fat in the tummy, the stretch marks, does that sound familiar?
Motherhood alters life and it comes with a lot of physical changes too. Expecting to look like that 22 year old just fresh from college is indeed stupid. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying use motherhood as an excuse to feast on what you like, get complacent about your body. Absolutely not. We do need to watch out what we eat, try and exercise, if not at the gym then at least by alternative means like using the stairs instead of elevator, try mopping the floor? That works wonders!!
Personally I was never a health or fitness freak and when I got pregnant I would often worry if I would fit into my pre pregnancy clothes. I would stare at the rows of one piece dresses, skirts and high heels and sigh " I cannot imagine giving away all of this lovely stuff". Luckily I did not put on on too much weight during my pregnancy and was back to my usual weight in a few months. So luckily most of my clothes do fit me and I I am more than happy to buy new ones for those that I discarded. After all when it comes to shopping, the more, the merrier.
What I could not get rid of though is the stretch marks, when I used to look at them I cringed. But one day I just thought "well the clothes I wear conceal them anyways and I do not see myself in a bikini ever so how does it matter. From that day when I look at them there is no frown. They are the signs of my body that carried my beautiful Angel and that's how I look at them. I recall I was 2 kgs short of my ideal weight and it used to drive me crazy. I switched to sugar free, used the stairs even at the risk of tripping in my high heels, watched my diet closely and tried to avoid fried foods, chocolates but nothing worked.
The scale refused to budge.Then one day I stopped fretting about it, I simply let it be and when I checked my weight casually one day I was back to my ideal weight. I realised over analysing and over thinking about something only causes harm. As Mommies it's important to take care of our body, but it's equally important to love and nurture it. It's important to dress well, stay well groomed and if you like make up, go for it. Please don't stop yourself t saying that" Oh I am a Mom who will look at me?" the utmost damage you would do is to yourself.
Only when you truly love yourself, invest time in yourself, feed your dreams, water the sapling of your desires and tend to it lovingly, can you raise a happy family. Respecting and loving yourself is the first step in setting an example before your daughter that as a woman learn to place yourself first and a lesson to your son that don't take a woman for granted. She is worth a lot. Don't mistake this for narcissism, If being ones favourite as Kareena Kapoor aptly put it in "Jab We Met", is being proud, selfish or a narcissist, then it's a tag we should take on with no inhabitations.
So woman, stay beautiful, stay happy, stay strong you are worth much more than you think. Time to raise the bar comrade.
Bhagwan you speak English with your daughter? What is happening these days?
People want to show off and are forgetting their roots”. I have heard this many times. Earlier my
reaction used to be - apologetic. I would keep quiet and try to ignore the comment
and find an escape route. But now if someone dares to talk to me about this
matter, I snap them off then and there. I am unapologetic I don't think I have
done anything wrong which I need to feel ashamed about. So yes I do speak in
English at home and this is my first language. No qualms about it. And
it's not because of an inter caste marriage in fact I have been speaking
English as a first language right since childhood. To give you some background
on how this came to be. My mother’s parents belonged to Mangalore ( it's a
coastal town in Karnataka) they migrated to Bombay in search of a livelihood
when they were young. They married, had kids and their kids were brought up by
a maid. As my mom and her brother lived…
A bibliophile that I always was- my favorite activity would always
be curling up in bed with a book. I grew up in a virtual world of the dark woods, enchanting castles, beautiful
princesses, and handsome knights in shining armor who would come riding on a
white horse and rescue the damsel in distress, the wicked ugly witch who tortured the princess but would meet a
horrible end. I was always an avid
reader, thanks to my Mom who inculcated this hobby in me when I was young and this
is a rare and priceless gift she gave me which has stayed for life. I can’t
thank her enough for this. I was drawn into the enchanting world of books,
where the characters danced before my eyes, it seemed so real.
Little did I
realize these books were sub consciously feeding me with stereotypes which
would become such an integral part of my thinking and personality that shaking
them off will not be easy. Have you realized that most of these fairy tales of
our times are so deeply flawed, gender biased and s…
As Aesha tapped her heel restlessly at the Visa Consulate, one
might just think of her as yet another young woman who has set her heart on an
overseas dream, a future in the greener pastures and she is probably nervous if
her visa will be stamped or not as her fate can either be made or broken by
this one seal (or the lack of it). But for Aesha , her tumultuous mind couldn't
be tamed today. While she was at
the cusp of an important milestone in her career and getting the visa would
mean she inches one step closer to her dream professionally- somewhere she
shuddered to think of how it would impact her love life and the very foundation
of her marriage. It seemed like
yesterday- Aman and Aesha met at a sangeet and got talking. They hit it
instantly and never realized where time flew. They would always chuckle when
they got to know later that this had been set up by their parents. Aesha was a young, dynamic, super smart, intelligent woman who was
a great fan of Sheryl Sandberg and truly…