Parenting - gimme the mantra
The Parenting Mantra
Parenting
- there's so much to it, much more than we can fathom. Since the time I have
become s mum in fact when I was expecting I started reading articles and blogs
about parenting. People sharing their experiences, what worked for them, what
didn’t? Though my daughter is just 11 months old, I see that she now follows
what we communicate and that has opened new doors for me. It has also made me
conscious of so many things I might inadvertently do/say that I need to be
mindful of. It makes muse over many other things. Some of them that I feel are
worth penning go by –
1)
Create a positive body image for your
child. Today with social media taking over our lives, everyone obsessed
with posting the best selfie, having the picture perfect look and figure, I
would not want my child to be a part of this body shaming culture. The way I
can help her develop a strong self worth is by setting the right example in the
first place. I look so ugly in this dress; I have become so fat look at my tummy
bulging out. Don't we say this at times by looking at ourselves in the mirror?
The child is listening. Here we are giving him a message fat is ugly. It's
important as parents we take pride and embrace our bodies first. Only then can
we teach them that there is so much more to beauty than what is out there.
2)
Squabbles and arguments are bound to
take place between 2 people, it's hard to digest that they would agree in
perfect harmony over every matter. It was different before a baby. Now when you
have a little one watching, it's important to be mindful about what we talk. I
was stunned to see my daughter who was all of 9 months exhibiting signs of
discomfort when I and the husband were having a tiff. When a 9 month old can
sense this, you can imagine what an older child would go through. It is bound
to impact them in an adverse manner.
3)
Minimize your screen time: We all
love doing various thing with our phones- I like writing blogs, reading blogs
by others and online shopping, you may like something else. But once home try
and switch off from the phone world completely if you really want to spend
quality time with your kid. Multitasking won't work here, when it comes to a
child, undivided attention is what is needed. Don't complain then when the
child grows up and follows your footsteps of being immersed in his tab or phone
4) Be conscious of gender biases
Very often what we do and say may subconsciously breed gender biases. Let's
start early - let us raise fearless daughters who grow up with the belief that
they can achieve what they want- not being a boy doesn't stop them from doing
anything. And let's raise our sons to be respectful and someone who does not
shy away from entering the kitchen or doing household chores.
5)
Birds and bees - The recent spike in
cases of sexual assault make it clear that there is a need to talk openly to
children about not just the good and bad touch but so much more. It's time we
give them the age appropriate information, build that trust. 6) Children these days get everything far too easily
than we got at their age. With most couples working, the standard of life is
much better but what worries me is " do they realize the worth of things?”
Do they know that everyone is not as fortunate as them to get everything on a
platter? A peek into the lives of less fortunate by visiting an orphanage ( I
have done it personally and it always makes me feel humble). I intend to take
my daughter along when she grows up, not to tell her see you are so lucky but
to teach her compassion and show her the true world" beyond the 4 walls
that she is confined to at present".
7) Earn your bread or maybe I should say
brownies. Rather than giving in to each demand of children, we can allot them
tasks like help mummy lay the dining table, or make the bed, and allot them
points for each job well done. This can also include good behavior within its
ambit, once they accumulate a certain number of points they can buy say the toy
they wanted or have McDonald happy meal. That way they understand that there are
no free lunches and we are inculcating the habit of helping with household
chores
8)
Finally a happy parent raises a happy
child, only when you are truly content could you pass on the same to your
offspring. As adults life is far from blissful. We have our share of worries
and stress including office tensions, emi and other domestic worries but it's
important we do not brood over it in front of our children.
One
miraculous thing motherhood has done to me is - the moment I step into the
house and look at my little girl’s smiling face I forget all my office
tensions. Parenting is a roller coaster ride. I find myself evolve as s human
being after I became a parent. I constantly learn new things, make mistakes,
learn from them and grow. Here's a toast to all those who are a party of this
wonderful ride. Cheers!
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