Paris- of hope and life

Is death the greatest loss? Or is it forgetting to live and passing each day unaware of how grateful we are to be blessed with life. The world is still reeling with the aftermath of the dastardly attacks on a city which is considered the epitome of love, the city of vibrance and exuberance, the paradise of romance- there are several posts flooding social media wherein people are expressing their solidarity, a few people who were amongst those present when the attack happened, recounting the horrific experience and how it has changed them as a person. One of them that particularly  left a deep impact on me was a lady who happened to be in the theatre that unfortunate night. Though she escaped unscathed, she recounted those horrific few minutes when terror struck. She thought she would not survive the attack and her last thoughts were of her family, the people she loved, how she wished she could let them know how much she loved them, the best moments of her life spent with her loved ones which lingered as memories flashed before her eyes.
As I read her candid confession, for a moment I envisioned myself right there. In the midst of mayhem waiting with fear and knowing the dreaded truth that life that may be snuffed out any moment and what came before my eyes- the angelic far of my daughter and I wish I could whisper in her ears "I love you Angel and you shall forever remain God's best blessing in my life". My mother - to whom I want to say you are my rock I know I  am rude at times and I have hurt you but I love you from the core of my heart and I am sorry for all those times when I could not be your ideal daughter. My husband who has patiently put up with all my mood swings and terrible outbursts after I became a mom, with whom I have hardly had a meal or a heart warming conversation since months, who might be wondering "Is this the woman I married 3 years back? Yes I am the one and so is my love. Love you to the moon and back. My little brother who till date remains my bestie, my dad, grand mum for their unflinching support and I wish to tell them I love you and I am fortunate to be blessed with such a great family.
Friday evening which is usually one of high spirits as its weekend time, was not a pleasant one for me. The long and stressful day at work, the ever piling up load of "To do" things on my plate and the worry of how do I clear them off next week and at the same time manage to balance my time for my family, my unanswered questions of where am I headed in my career, will I achieve my goals within the time frame I have set for myself, am I doing justice by spending so long hours at work, after all this do I get what I deserve- just too many thoughts clouding my mind. And then to add fuel to the fire, my thoughts wandered in the direction of friends who were once besties but each one moved on and are hardly in touch- made me think did  I choose the wrong people? These thoughts  threatened to spoil my weekend looming over like a dark cloud.
I saw my daughter's infectious smile as she came crawling towards me and the unpleasant thoughts vanished. But they did visit me in the middle of the night in the guise of bad dreams and I failed to completely shake them off. Saturday morning I saw #PrayforParis trending on twitter and read through what had happened. It left me deeply grieved for those innocent souls who lost their life, their families who were still struggling to pick up the broken pieces and mend them, fury and angst towards the men of Satan whom I cannot by any means call human. It made me feel vulnerable as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend for this could be my city, my vicinity. But on reading about the survivor stories and specially the one I recounted above, it made me pause for a moment and think- what mattered to me the most. My treasured possession is the arms of the people I love, the smile on their faces and the countless memories we have made and continue to make each day- When I breathe my last - how much I earn , what's my designation, what my appraisal says or does not say, did I get promoted a year early or late will not even matter . I don't think they would even momentarily flash before my eyes. So why do I waste my life grieving over them? It would be a sheer waste of this beautiful gift God has bestowed upon me. This attack has made me value my life much more and also resolve to spend each moment more fruitfully.
Life's greatest lessons come sometimes in moments least expected, in moments of grief, despair and sorrow, they come to make you realise there is hope, love and goodwill, They still exist in this world. May there be peace and love and may each one of us live  and rejoice each moment and make the most of this gift of life.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unfair and lovely (short story)

Little Tani was not her usual cheerful boisterous self when she got home today. She looked crestfallen, her eyes were puffy. Aastha looked at her and instantly knew something was amiss. Her motherly instinct told her something has happened in school that had upset her precious doll. She went to Tani as asked her "what happened honey, what makes my baby so sad today?" Tani burst into tears. "Mumma I have not been chosen to play the part of the bride. I wanted to it so much. I was waiting for the annual day since so many months and was hoping that this time they will give me the lead role in the skit. I was so good at the dress rehearsals. Everyone said I am such a good actor there is no doubt I will get the part of the lead. But they chose Sonal. I overheard the teacher saying " we want a pretty and fair girl" Mumma - have I not been chosen because I am not fair? Is only being fair considered beautiful? Will I always have to play second fiddle to people ...
Read more

Where has love gone?

Image
As Aesha tapped her heel restlessly at the Visa Consulate, one might just think of her as yet another young woman who has set her heart on an overseas dream, a future in the greener pastures and she is probably nervous if her visa will be stamped or not as her fate can either be made or broken by this one seal (or the lack of it). But for Aesha , her tumultuous mind couldn't be tamed today. While she was at the cusp of an important milestone in her career and getting the visa would mean she inches one step closer to her dream professionally- somewhere she shuddered to think of how it would impact her love life and the very foundation of her marriage. It seemed like yesterday- Aman and Aesha met at a sangeet and got talking. They hit it instantly and never realized where time flew. They would always chuckle when they got to know later that this had been set up by their parents.  Aesha was a young, dynamic, super smart, intelligent woman who was a great fan of Sheryl S...
Read more

Motherhood Penalty

Image
Clara a middle aged Mum of two juggles working in a stressful corporate job plus managing her two young kids. Things were still manageable with just one kid but after the birth of her daughter, she finds it very stressful to give her best and is often left with a feeling of utter deject unable to do justice to her kids or job. She wakes up early cooks breakfast lunch and snacks for her kids and then leaves home by 9 after entrusting her kids to the nanny. At work with a well-paying and highly demanding job, there is hardly a moment of rest. Coffee time breaks and browsing the net or mindless gossip is something she steers clear of. Her main goal is to finish her work most efficiently within time, do the best at her job for she is not someone who is working just for the sake of it or to make some money- NO. She loves working and wants to give her best shot at what she does.  She is also perceived as someone who is good at her stuff and this credibility is something she has ear...
Read more