At times, when I reminiscence my childhood days, though most of them are filled with wonderful moments , there are those few memories which still invoke some negative feelings and make me cringe. Though I am a matured person now and maybe I should just shake it off as harmless childhood pranks but somehow I am not able to get past it. I am a dusky complexioned girl and we all know about the super crazy obsession of Indians for fair skin, well its sad that this colour bias is so prevalent in our country that even children are not spared. I had to bear the brunt of it throughout my school days. I think it started bit late as in the time I schooled, children were not that fast paced as today's generation. And to add to my woes, I wore glasses. So there comes the chasmis blackie girl. If someone said this to me today, I would give them a piece of my mind and wouldn't mind whacking them as well but when this actually happened to me I think I lacked the maturity and courage to deal with it. I kept feeling that I'm the defective piece, I am not fair skinned. Why did god give me a dusky complexion like my mother? I could have been fair like my father. And why these glasses. This just makes me more undesirable. I hardly revolted, I just tried to ignore people's comments and act as if nothing happened. But inside me, there was a turmoil, most often I fought hard to stop my tears from rolling down lest people call me a weakling and the teasing intensified.Today when I look back at all those people who made fun of me for my physical appearance I realise I have moved far ahead of them in all ways and they are the ones left behind.
When I try to think of these not so pleasant childhood memories and analyse them with the mind of a sensible adult, I think a grave mistake I made was not discuss this with anyone. I should have confided in someone whom I trust, who would have helped me face the situation and I would probably not have had to bear the brunt of this for so long. But I silently bore it all hoping that it would stop one day but that day took too long and in the interim I was the sufferer. I also hear lot of people say make your child tease proof by talking to him openly and making him understand that he is special and how to not let all these nonsensical things affect him. I am a mother today and have a 5 month old daughter who is so precious to me that even a scratch on her makes me so nervous. I know she has to go into this big bad world by herself one day, I will not be able to hold her hand forever and the first thing that's always on top of my mind is what if she's teased at school. Yes I know I will make her brave and instil the right values in her and teach her how to believe in herself and just not allow such mindless things to affect her or better still how to hurl punches in the face of such brutes (I'm contemplating this but I don't think anyone in my family will buy my arguments). But I sometimes wonder- Isn't she too young to really understand the gravity of this? Would she really be that matured that she wont let all this affect her in any manner, Sadly the answer is no. Well, I was in my early teens when I was teased and yes it did affect me . No doubt children are more matured these days, but I still think they would not be able to handle this like adults and it is bound to affect them.
Instead, why not each one of us teach our kids the right values and specially why its not ok to tease others, how would you feel if people ganged up and teased you, obviously you would not feel good about it. Each one of us is god's special child, we all are unique. Each one of us is masterpiece , so lets respect each other, learn to accept our differences be it in terms of colour, features, body or any other physical attribute. Childhood is one of the most beautiful phase in our life, this realisation dawns upon us quite late in life, but lets make this even more wonderful for all and not mar the beauty of this beautiful phase by indulging in teasing which may just sound like harmless fun(bache hai ye to karnege hi), but in reality ask the one who has gone through it and you will realise the bitter truth that it isn't harmless fun at all.
So whats your take on teasing? Do let me know your views, I have strong views on this as it is something I have experienced and would not wish that any child ever go through this.
A visit to the shopping mall and all kinds of people dressed in varied shades and type of clothes is what catches the eye. While the guys longingly ogle at pretty girls and women check out each other from top to down- right from how has she done her hair to her toe nail and the shade of nail paint, one cannot fail to notice some middle aged aunties all dressed up in a pair of jeans or a skirt, some of them look around awkwardly, adjust their dress and try to look comfortable but it’s apparent that they are not. How could they possibly be? For around them are so many eyes scanning them, some are whispering to others and guffawing. It is quite evident that people find it amusing when a fat lady wears jeans. She's your regular woman who has those tires around her waist and some generous dollops of flesh on her thighs. She is the one always trying to hide these so called flaws by wearing an ill fitting salwar for hasn't she heard time and again from everyone- “you are FAT, you
You usually pick up a book to read because you heard a good word about it from a reader friend, or you chanced upon a good review or simply browsing for a book, you read the back cover and were intrigued to know more. My reasons for picking up this book is something you surely can’t beat! A chance encounter with the author Bavna Rai in a networking event right at my workplace made me rush home and download it on my kindle for weekend reading. Now being a blogger and aspiring writer, nothing gives you more joy than meeting someone who shares the same passion. Unfortunately I have never met a single soul who has remotely anything to do with blogging or writing in my workplace though I have worked for some of the biggest names in the Investment Banking World. Imagine how euphoric I was to receive an invitation for a networking event with 2 senior women leaders and I see that one of them is passionate about writing and has authored a book. Listening to Bhavna’s candid thoughts